Let's talk about victimhood shall we!

Let’s talk about something we’ve all heard before—maybe we’ve even thought it ourselves.

"She’s always playing the victim."
"He just needs to toughen up and stop talking about his problems."
"Why won’t she take my advice? I know exactly what she needs to do."

Sound familiar? It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and believe we have the full picture. But here’s the truth—we don’t. We see only a snapshot, a fragment of their experience, a single moment in time. And yet, we rush to label. We assume we know the whole story.

I want to challenge that assumption today.

A few years ago, I was in a difficult place—financially, emotionally, and mentally. I had been blindsided by a situation that turned my world upside down. Someone I trusted—someone I thought was a friend—began to distance themselves. I could sense their impatience when I spoke about my struggles. And one day, they said it outright:

"You’re stuck in victim mode, and honestly, it’s exhausting. You just need to stop talking about it and move on."

Dear one, I cannot tell you how much those words stung. Because here’s the thing—I wasn’t rejecting solutions. I wasn’t indulging in my pain. I was fighting every single day to get back on my feet. What I needed was understanding, not judgment.

And this is where we need to be careful. There is a difference between being a victim and being trapped in victimhood. Yes, some people can become stuck in their suffering, believing they have no power to change their circumstances. But more often, people simply need time, space, and support to process what they’re going through. And dismissing someone’s pain as "playing the victim" only isolates them further.

As the writer Brené Brown so beautifully said:
"If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback."

Dear one, before you assume someone is playing the victim, pause. Ask yourself:

• Do I really understand their full story?

• Am I projecting my own discomfort onto them?

• Could I offer support instead of unsolicited solutions?

Because life is messy. No one is immune to hardship. And the worst thing we can do is dismiss someone’s reality just because it makes us uncomfortable.

So next time you hear someone label another as a "victim," take a step back. Listen, instead of judging. Ask, instead of assuming. Because we don’t need more critics in this world—we need more people who are willing to truly see each other.

Thank you for being here today, dear one. If this message resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it. And remember—kindness costs nothing, but it can mean everything.

Until next time, be well!

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