Funny you should mention storytelling - I’m just reading Ruth Cohn’s ‘Working with the Developmental Trauma of Childhood Neglect' book, and she says something that I found very powerful: *in a world of one, there was never any need, or point, in talking*. Which is why children of neglect are often completely unable to speak about themselves, what’s going on with them etc. I certainly identify with that - verbalizing anything that concerns me is still a willful act.
That sounds fascinating, Adina! Thank you for mentioning the book—and what a powerful quote! I can absolutely relate. Not being able to verbalize what happened is incredibly isolating. It leaves you in a lonely and unsettling place, where unspoken experiences, harsh words, and the absence of tenderness get buried deep in the mind. We sense that something is missing, yet we can’t quite name it. We live in a fog of confusion. Starting to verbalise what was is crucial! I wish I had been able to do it sooner—my life choices might have been very different.
Exactly, Mike! Spot on. Their demand for silence leaves us frozen—almost like a form of hypnosis, or rather, self-hypnosis. For so long, we struggle to even find the words, trapped in a fog of unspoken experiences. And then, one day, the need to verbalize it all becomes undeniable. Thank you for your comment!
Funny you should mention storytelling - I’m just reading Ruth Cohn’s ‘Working with the Developmental Trauma of Childhood Neglect' book, and she says something that I found very powerful: *in a world of one, there was never any need, or point, in talking*. Which is why children of neglect are often completely unable to speak about themselves, what’s going on with them etc. I certainly identify with that - verbalizing anything that concerns me is still a willful act.
https://ruthcohnmft.com/book-working-with-the-developmental-trauma-of-childhood-neglect/
That sounds fascinating, Adina! Thank you for mentioning the book—and what a powerful quote! I can absolutely relate. Not being able to verbalize what happened is incredibly isolating. It leaves you in a lonely and unsettling place, where unspoken experiences, harsh words, and the absence of tenderness get buried deep in the mind. We sense that something is missing, yet we can’t quite name it. We live in a fog of confusion. Starting to verbalise what was is crucial! I wish I had been able to do it sooner—my life choices might have been very different.
Of all the memory work one can do, I think verbalizing what has happened is the hardest.
Not only do abusers demand silence, we self-censor to keep those around us "comfortable", appear invulnerable, and so forth.
Thank you for this call to change!
Exactly, Mike! Spot on. Their demand for silence leaves us frozen—almost like a form of hypnosis, or rather, self-hypnosis. For so long, we struggle to even find the words, trapped in a fog of unspoken experiences. And then, one day, the need to verbalize it all becomes undeniable. Thank you for your comment!