The Voice That Held Me Back Naked truth Chapter 38

The past influences you

Spring returned with a vengeance these past few weeks.

The sheer force of blooming life—plants rising in power, vibrant colours bursting where only arid silence reigned—filled Martha with hope. A deep, grounding hope.

Nature, as always, became metaphor. Life, too, can feel barren, lifeless, stagnant. But then, out of nowhere, growth erupts. The invisible becomes visible. Dormant seeds awaken. And what once seemed lost… begins again.

Witnessing this renewal stirred something in Martha. She felt it in her bones: her life was ready for a similar shift.

Looking back over the last few weeks, it was as if unseen lines had been drawn in the sand. And with them came a voice. Firm. Unapologetic. Resonating through every cell of her body:

NO MORE.

No more hiding.
No more playing invisible.
No more pretending she could do it all, fast, and in silence.
NO MORE.

The time to listen to her body had come. Not as a choice, but as a truth. Fast had been replaced by slow. Superficial had yielded to meaningful. That exhausting, celebrated frenzy of “multitasking”—the one Charlie Chaplin once ridiculed in a black-and-white blur—had run its course.

NO MORE hiding.

And that’s what led her to finally record her first YouTube video.

For so long she’d studied, watched, over-prepared. She’d felt small. Insignificant. Foolish, even. Technology felt daunting, despite having used it before. But she just… couldn’t begin. Procrastination wrapped around her like ivy. (by the way she loves ivy and makes a fantastic liquid detergent|) She turned to her invisible friend, Mark, and asked: “Is this something you can relate to?”

He nodded gently.

Martha exhaled. “So… it’s not just me.”

Mark nodded again.

Facing the Root of the Fear

A few days ago, perched on her beloved pile of logs in the magic forest, she began to dig deeper.
What was this fear? Why had being seen—especially online—felt so unsafe? Was it fear of criticism? Maybe. But as she softened into curiosity, a memory surfaced. Sharp. Wounding.

The Ferret.

The Ferret’s voice—still lodged in the caverns of her mind: “You laugh like a hyena. Your voice… like a hyena.” And there it was.

This is one of the things that had held her back.
Not just on YouTube but when she graduated from her solution-focused psychotherapy course as well. Shame had followed her like a shadow. How could she speak in a therapeutic setting if her voice had been labeled grotesque, ridiculous by her own mother?

She had played it small. Felt small. Disappeared from her own stage.

But now, spring had returned. And perhaps—just perhaps—she could rise with it.

Hear me out ….
“How many of us are still walking around with someone else’s voice in our head?
A careless insult. A sharp word. And we’ve made ourselves small ever since.”
“What’s one thing you’ve wanted to do, but haven’t… because of a voice from your past?”

Try this today:

1. Write down the voice that has held you back. What did it say? How old were you when you first heard it?

2. Draw or collage that voice—what shape does it have? A colour? A creature?

3. Now, write a loving response from your voice today. What would you say to your younger self?

You don’t need to share it. But if you’d like to, I’d love to hear in the comments or replies.

“Spring doesn’t ask for permission to bloom. Neither should we.”

FORAGING FOR HEALING

Martha discovered that nature offered her a sacred space—one where she could regroup, revive, and reclaim forgotten parts of herself, one little plant at a time. Sometimes she would simply stop and notice the wild beauty around her. Other times, she’d research the names and uses of the plants she met on her walks. Occasionally, she’d gather a few leaves or petals to cook with or pick a small bouquet of wildflowers to brighten her space. Even the tiniest vase with a splash of nature felt like a whisper of rebirth in her home.

Foraging became more than a pastime—it was a gentle, grounding ritual. For those healing from trauma, it offers a powerful way to slow down. The mind, often restless or flooded, is soothed by the act of learning something new, focusing on textures, smells, colours—being present.

Martha leaned in and whispered to Mark,
“Nettles are still abundant in my area, you know. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve made nettle soup… and lately, nettle dip, and this vibrant, earthy nettle pesto that’s become a favourite in my kitchen.”
She paused, then tilted her head. “Have you ever tried it, Mark?”

Yes, he was imaginary—but somehow, his smile felt real.
“I was the one nudging you to start foraging,” he whispered gently. “You didn’t know… but it was me.”

Martha laughed softly, eyes sparkling.
“Well,” she said, “that does sound like something you’d do.”

Well dear reader, I will leave the recipe below, and I warmly invite you to give it a try. And if you do—let me know what you think. 🌿

🌱 Nettle Pesto Recipe (Delicious + Healing)

Ingredients:

• 2 cups fresh young nettle leaves (packed, stems removed)

• 1/2 cup walnuts, pine nuts, or sunflower seeds (toasted if you like) - I used sunflower seeds

• 2–3 cloves garlic (adjust to taste)

• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese or grated cheddar

• Juice of 1/2 lemon

• 1/2 to 3/4 cup olive oil

• Salt and pepper to taste

Optional extras:

• A handful of basil or parsley for extra green flavor

• A few drops of apple cider vinegar for more lemony taste

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Instructions:

1. Blanch the nettles:
   Bring a pot of water to boil. Using tongs or gloves (they still sting when raw!), drop the nettles in for about 1 minute to remove the sting. Drain and rinse with cold water. Squeeze out the moisture.

2. Blend:
   In a food processor or blender, combine the blanched nettles, nuts/seeds, garlic, cheese (or yeast), and lemon juice. Blend until finely chopped.

3. Add oil:
   While blending, slowly pour in the olive oil until it reaches your desired consistency.

4. Season:
   Add salt and pepper to taste, and blend briefly again.

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Serving ideas:

• Toss it with pasta, spread it on toast or crackers, spread on lovely bread, mix into soups, or swirl it over roasted veggies.

• Freeze in ice cube trays to preserve this yummy green paste

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