Kintsugi and mending your broken life with self love
The courage to put things together again in spite of everything
I have to admit. At times, the only things I want to do is to hide away. Confrontation is such a waste of energy and yet even silence, the one pregnant with hurt and betrayal is still like a sieve and your energy disappears in a flash. Oh no, do not worry this is not going to be a moaning type of message but - I want to believe - an uplifting one with a few creative ideas woven in.
The other day I found - in a charity shop of all places - a kintsugi set and decided to buy it, research and find what is this all about. My interest in Japan and Japanese way of being dates a few good decades ago and over the years my passion kept being expressed in a myriad of ways from the books I was reading, the documentaries I was watching, food I tried and last but not least with my paintings of geishas and maiko.
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Curiosity of course got me into trying kintsugi as it fits the metaphor of what life is all about for me - full of black swan moments, of the need for reinvention, the desire to build things back from scratch, cracks and all in full display as a testament of human resilience.
Let s carry on with the story.. When you buy a kintsugi set you receive a bowl, mug, plate depending of the price you are prepared to pay.
In my cases it was a set with two delightful little sweet bowls. You also receive a textile bag, plastic gloves, special glue and a pot of golden mica type powder. That’s it? Yep!
What s next? You insert the bowl in the bag and with a quick move you smash it to the ground.
I will pause here and think about the feelings. For me, it felt like in a Cassius Clay boxing session! The one when out of the blue he found himself on the floor! It is a visceral feeling of loss and shock even if it is self provoked.
Suddenly, in front of you, there are pieces of ceramic, broken layers of life if you are prepared to give it a different association. i wonder what would this experience feel to you.
If I were to do this again I would do it in a ceremonial way : a candle, soft music in the background, a few moments of meditation and no interference. Simply deciding to be in the moment and go through a process which is more than just an outside experience.
By nature I am a curious person! Curious in experimenting to be more precise. At times curiosity takes over and I want to get things done very quickly, burning experiences one after the other without even feeling anything, ready to see things done in seconds! Oh well I was ready for a similar approach this time but it didn’t work! This process takes time just like it happens with recovery from harsh experiences.
You cannot speed up the process as I am telling you it does not work. Suddenly, in front of you are random pieces, just like the ones from a puzzle, all messed up, and nothing makes sense anymore.
I am telling you this is how I felt many times during challenging events.
One piece, two pieces oh Lord so many …. It is my understanding that the kinsugi masters know how to break the elements in 2.3 pieces through a well versed move.
Nope, not my case! ☺️
About two hours later, after many attempts to put it all together only to discover that they don t fit, it’s too much glue, some bits soooo tiny they almost looked like dust … I did it! The golden lines have something magical about them. In my very crude attempt the scars are visible, you can touch them as well and feel the edges - no it s not smooth like in the first image but I feel the connection with my life, I feel the stories within stories. story.
With the hat of a psychotherapist on I can see a great healing, storytelling tool in front of me, something that might bring Evrika moments for some, might help people open up and talk about their traumatic experiences in a more detached way, projecting the trauma onto the bowl, and way more!
Story to be continued! Have you ever experienced kintsugi? I would love to hear your story!
If you are searching for creative ways to bring purpose, balance, healing and joy to your life this is the place for you. My aim is to share life lessons, the power of art, creativity, storytelling in bringing meaning, balance to our lives, and in the healing we so crave for. What I know is that life is far from being linear, that often we experience trauma and at times, we stay locked in a cocoon of numbness barely surviving emotionally, but still marching. It could very well be that you feel as if your voice is nowhere to be seen, it could very well be that you don’t know who you are anymore. This publication will provide support through sharing life stories, creative prompts, writing prompts and ways to reclaim our voices and our lives.
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